Our Top Tips For:
Managing job pressures whilst going through a divorce
According to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale – which measures the stress of different life events – divorce is listed as the second most stressful life experience a person can go through, after the death of a spouse. Yet the majority of employers do not offer any additional support or compassionate leave to their employees.
The Positive Parenting Alliance (“PPA”) HR initiative launched in early 2023 found that employers need to be doing more to support their employees who are going through a divorce. The PPA proposal suggested that employers should recognise divorce and separation as a ‘life event’ similar to bereavement and create appropriate policies or initiatives to support employees going through a divorce. Given that on average 42% of marriages end in divorce, we consider that this is a small step in the right direction. However, it seems that only ‘major’ companies have been making changes to their HR policies to reflect the PPA’s suggestions.
Until the small to medium sized enterprises (“SME”) catch up, many of our clients will continue to struggle with maintaining the professional aspects of their life, whilst, at the same time, navigating a divorce (whether it is acrimonious or not).
Our top tips for managing job pressures whilst going through a divorce are:
Speak to your HR Department early on – this way you can get ahead of the curve and let them know what is happening in your life and inform them of any key court dates that you may have. You may also need to ask them to approve or provide certain employment documentation within the course of any financial disclosure exercise, and, as always, the more notice you can give them the better. If you are struggling with managing your workload, consider whether you could make a request to HR for flexible working arrangements to allow you to attend meetings or court hearings, or to adjust to any new childcare arrangements.
Be realistic with your time – going through a separation or divorce is never easy, no matter how amicable you and your Ex are. Conduct an honest evaluation of your existing workload and what you can or should delegate. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Taking on too much work will not do you any favours now or in the long term.
Organisation is key – look at your diary and what commitments you have coming up. Once you have a clear idea of what is in the pipeline both from a work and divorce perspective, make a plan for how you will manage those work deadlines, whilst also factoring in any time you may need to take for meetings with your lawyers or any court hearings.
Avoid sudden or extreme moves – for example, don’t hand in your notice on a whim. If you are really struggling with trying to balance all of the new demands on your time, consider whether you should request a short sabbatical to process this major life event, rather than simply resigning. We always recommend to our clients that they talk through any career moves with us, or their chosen legal team, as it is highly likely any such changes will impact them later down the line.
Consider what, if any, additional support you need – be that from a friend, divorce consultant, mental health expert or a combination of all three. It is also worthwhile checking any employee benefits you receive from your employer (e.g. it may be that they offer access to relevant support services, or flexible working arrangements etc.).
