Part I: Preparing for your initial meeting with a divorce lawyer
Divorce can often be the first time that many of our clients have had to consider entering the legal world. It can be a daunting prospect. For some, it may be the first step following a period of unhappiness, or it could be necessitated as a result of your partner or spouse’s actions. A common fear shared by our clients is the anxiety surrounding how to choose a divorce lawyer, their first contact with them, and how best to prepare for that initial meeting.
With this in mind, we have curated a 5-step plan to help our clients get the most out of their initial meeting, and feel as confident as they can when taking that first step:
Understand that there is no pressure
Just as when meeting with us, meeting with a divorce lawyer does not mean that you have to get divorced. It can simply serve as a useful information gathering exercise for you to ensure that you are fully aware of all of your options. You also do not have to tell your partner or spouse that you have been to see a divorce lawyer, or what advice you have been given, and, in some circumstances, it may be advisable not to.
Be prepared
Prior to your initial meeting, it is helpful to make a comprehensive list of all of your financial assets (including any properties, investments, and bank accounts etc.) and send it to your lawyer. Doing this exercise in advance will save time in the initial meeting and enable your lawyer to tailor their advice to your circumstances. You may not know everything about your family finances, and that is absolutely fine, but the more information you can provide to your lawyer at the outset, the better.
Additionally, if you have entered into any form of agreement, such as a pre or post nuptial agreement, make sure that you have sent these documents to your lawyer well in advance of the initial meeting. Furthermore, if any key documents that you wish to send in advance are not in English, we suggest either providing a translated version, or checking whether your chosen lawyer has the relevant linguistic capabilities.
Think of the outcome you want and how you envisage getting there
Extend your preparation by thinking of specific questions that you want to ask and note them down. No question is a silly question. This will help to focus your mind and avoid you coming away thinking “I wish I had asked that question.” It is also worthwhile giving thought to any potential sticking points or issues you anticipate arising in the separation process. Informing your lawyer of any such issues can play a significant role in helping them to devise the strategy to be adopted in your case.
Book the initial meeting at a time that is convenient for you
You will, no doubt, feel stressed by the prospect of the meeting, so help yourself from a timings perspective as this will limit the possibility of additional stress and disruption. You do not want to be interrupted by calls and emails. To avoid this, we advise our clients to put their mobile phone on silent mode. Equally, you do not want to feel as though you have to dash off to work or to collect your children, so avoid booking a meeting which could run into another scheduled commitment. Finally, plan your journey in advance – you do not want to be stuck in traffic, or the victim of public transport delays. If you arrive early, you can always have a coffee (or your calming beverage of choice) and collect your thoughts.
Think about your divorce support team
You will, undoubtedly, need extra support during the separation process if you do decide to proceed. Think about whether you want someone, be that a family member, friend, or someone like us, to attend that initial meeting with you to offer you practical and emotional support.